Caulk


I’ve been feeling sad a lot more often lately. I’ve been feeling joyful more often lately, too. Overall I am more calm than I used to be. It makes no sense.
It’s been a long time since I made music with another person. It must have easily been over a year. Tomorrow I am meeting with Bernd to get my band Colombin going again. We call ourselves a band although we’re only two people. Yes, we used to be three people. But those times are long gone. Maybe they will return.
I missed the train after work today. It’s the first time I missed it. I was waiting on my platform for three minutes before I realized that my train had already left the station. So I hopped on the slow train that arrived on my platform a few minutes later instead. It stops in quite a few places and it smells like a wet dog in here. I’m enjoying the ride.
I’ve been thinking about what to write about and realized that I have nothing to say. It used to be of utmost importance to me to have something to say. I couldn’t bear the thought of having nothing important to say, so I tried very hard to come up with something important to say. If I couldn’t come up with something important, I tried to put something unimportant into terms that made it seem really important on the surface. I’m glad I don’t have the urge to be profound or deep anymore. It frees up a lot of mental energy for more pleasant thoughts.
I renewed the caulk in my bathroom on Sunday. It made me wonder how the trade of building bathrooms evolved to the point where it’s at now. Did someone invent silicone in order to solve the problem of a gap being between the wall and the bathtub? Or did someone play around with already invented silicone and think, hey, if I put this between the wall and the bathtub, the part of the wall that’s lower than the bathtub will stay dry when I take a shower, and that means I can build tiled walls around the bathtub without it turning into a bio-dome for mold and other disgusting fauna, and I won’t any longer be confronted with the reality of my bathing water running trough pipes in the walls and going somewhere, instead it will seem as if it were simply getting sucked through a magical plughole into nothingness, and every now and then I’d wipe off the tiles and everything will look sparkly clean again!
I don’t believe that’s what happened. But I can’t say for sure. If I had to choose between a sparkly clean bathroom and copper pipes sticking out of the bare wall, I think I’d choose the copper pipes and leave the silicone alone. I think you had to be mildly insane to be the first person to smear silicone over the gaps between your bathtub and the wall. Try to picture this scene in your head and see for yourself if you can make out a normal person in it. I certainly can’t.