Day 10934

I think I’ve been messing up my headings lately. They’re one day behind. Anyway, I’ve been sober for eleven days.
I feel almost normal (as in healthy) again. Yesterday I smoked a few cigarettes in the evening, which I’m not too happy about, but at least I don’t seem to have physical cravings anymore.
I’m going to write a list. It will contain all the things I have to do in order to get my life back on track. Then I will do them. Maybe I should also make a list of all the things that keep me from getting my life back on track, and then not do those things. And I’ll try not to judge myself when I fail to do or to not do the things on those lists. Maybe I’ll just picture the likely consequences of doing and not doing a particular thing and then choose one of the consequences. I don’t know. I have no idea how normal, healthy people bring themselves to do tedious tasks. I don’t think they depend on as much mind-fuckery as I do. I don’t think they feel worthless and guilty most of the time.
But let’s not get too dark here. I really enjoy writing these daily little notes. And I’ve been thinking about starting various blogs about various things like software development, pop music, fashion, movies, etc. Nothing too ambitious. Just sporadically posting short notes and quips about stuff that I take interest in, on the one condition that they provide at least a bit of insight, either into me or the things I’m writing about.
Quitting alcohol leaves you with a bunch of spare time.