Having no plan


I’ve got to play a concert in four days. So far the only thing I’ve accomplished to do for preparation is browsing songs on Youtube. My voice is giving me trouble, as I haven’t been singing in quite some time and I’ve been slightly sick for a couple of weeks. I feel bad at the thought of how much I will suck on Friday, so I hope I’m just overreacting right now and that everything will turn out fine. Anyway, I do have the fear.
Then there’s all the letters I have yet to write and send out to my loved ones, and all those presents I was going to buy before I visit my brother and his family over Christmas but haven’t even decided upon yet. I’m always on the run from the things I know I need to do in order to feel like a worthwhile human being. I let myself distract too easily and hate myself for it. I’m trying hard to focus on making focusing a habit, but I’m struggling. I *am* slowly improving though, which is encouraging.